M&M's Home Blog

Ah, the mischief...

A picture's worth a thousand words...

Before going out on an MCP (Mounted Combat Patrol) I took the opportunity to enjoy the now green state of Kansas. What a beautiful place! The range looked like a golf course, there was a nice breeze, and for a brief moment, I enjoyed being in the Army.

I live for moments like these!!

The beauty of Fort Riley...

Today was a pretty rough day. I dealt with a lot of issues that did not make me happy, and on this rare occasion, these issues really dampened my spirit. I was thankful for bible study tonight; we've been going through Phillippians, and this book is very relevant for our daily lives here at Fort Riley. Why? Paul was writing from prison, and sometimes that's how life feels here. But now I'm just whining, and that's not the point of my post tonight.

During silent prayer time, it occurred to me that what I need to pray most for was freedom from fear. And the scope of this prayer extended in directions I hadn't considered before.

Of course, I'm afraid, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I can't speak for all soldiers in this matter, but I can speak for myself. I wasn't afraid on my last deployment; maybe it was the perceived immortality of youth or the ego of an active duty soldier. I'm different now, and so is the situation. I have a husband for starters, and today I found out that the security in my area will change and not for the better. I'm not ready for heaven yet and I'm definitely not ready for somebody in a crisp uniform visiting my home and telling my husband and parents that I'm not coming back. So there, I said it. I'm scared.

Our families are afraid too, of that guy in his nice uniform paying them a visit on an otherwise normal day. They wonder if Easter will be the last time they see us. The phones and internet will inevitably go down for a few days due to technical difficulties, and they will wonder why we haven't called, and fear the worst. The unknown is so much more painful for them than for us; at least we'll be living it.

Law abiding Iraqi citizens are afraid. Today, an instructor quoted a young Iraqi man's outlook on his own life; he said he felt like he was "waiting in line for a ticket to die." Every day, they wonder if they will be at the marketplace that a suicide bomber selects for his martyrdom. They worry that today, their children won't make it home from school safely. They fear that when the Coalition forces leave, there will be no security for their new government and history will repeat itself in the fashion of a military coup.

And here's the kicker: insurgents are afraid. They fear that democracy and choices will mean the death of their version of fundamentalist Islam. They believe that Westerners are trying to kill their culture and group identity by poisoning the minds of the next Arab generation with liberal and immoral ideas.

It's amazing what we all have in common, isn't it? Tonight I'm praying for freedom from fear for the human race...and maybe world peace, too.

It was a wonderful 30 hours. Mike pulled into the barracks parking lot just as I was walking back after weapons turn in. He got the full experience of CPT Wife, in full gear, sweating like a pig and smelling even worse. And he still managed to find me attractive. :)

I paraded my husband around the barracks, forcing him to shake hands with everybody I recognized. He was a trooper, meeting nearly 20 people before I successfully signed out on pass and we left Fort Riley.

We stayed in a Marriott Courtyard in Junction City. The hotel was absolutely amazing; the bed in our room was easily the most comfortable bed I had ever experienced. We drove around Manhattan on Friday night and settled on Chili's for dinner. We even saw some of my colleagues there, just beginning to get their party on (the following day, we took one of them back to Manhattan to find his car, but that's another story).

On Saturday, we slept in and had breakfast in the hotel restaurant; it was a nice buffet. We headed back to Fort Riley where Mike got a few t-shirts and he supported my decision to buy a better holster for my sidearm. The one I was using was pretty ineffective at securing my weapon and allowing for a quick draw. We went to a wonderful Thai restaurant for lunch, and chilled out in the hotel before returning to my barracks. I had to sign in by 9 pm, so Mike stayed an extra hour after, setting up my computer and packing up gear that I was sending home. We had a floor picnic in my room with our leftovers from dinner the night before. It wasn't the ideal romantic last dinner together, but it was pretty par for the course in our unusual first year of marriage.

When my roommate, Gloria, met Mike, she asked, "Is this the guy that should clone himself to make the female population happy?" Yes, that would be my romantic, selfless husband. It's nice when other people notice how wonderful he is without me telling them!!

Mike drives 9 hours so that he can see me for 30.

I don't normally like John Mayer, but I really like this song. It's got a nice beat and the music really flows well. I don't completely agree with his message, though.

Yes, the world needs to change. But can we afford to wait? I don't think so. I think we have to affect change. We have to make the effort instead of taking a passive stance and watching from an outsider's perspective. I'm not advocating that everybody run out and enlist, or change careers and join the public service. But we can all afford to tidy up our little corners of the world. We can work on strengthening our relationships and giving as much love as we're receiving. We can try not to get angry when someone cuts us off in traffic, or complain about things we can't control. We can try to bring a positive light to everything we touch, and be thankful for all that we've been given.

It probably won't result in world peace, but it will certainly make our immediate world a nicer place. So don't wait!!

Mike colors pictures of Disney couples for me to brighten up my ugly barracks wall!

Mike handwrites letters to me and draws pictures to accompany them.

It's funny how your blessings seem the most real during really challenging times. In the last five months, so much has happened to me and my life has been altered in so many ways.

There were obvious blessings: my engagement and marriage to my best friend and the support of my amazing family and friends during some tough times.

There were subtle blessings: the peaceful passing of my ill grandfather and the opportunity to serve in the military one last time.

And then, there are my day to day, nearly invisible blessings: the military helmet that seems to alleviate my migraine headaches, the morning sky as I'm standing in formation, the sudden warmth in my body as I'm standing on a range for the fifth hour in 20 degree temperatures, the amazing team of Soldiers with whom I am honored to work, or the sweet, poignant sound of retreat that seems to give my long days some meaning.

GOD IS IN EVERYTHING! He was there for me the day I got my orders, helping Mike and I to see the light in the dark. He was there when my grandfather died, reminding me that I will see him again when we are reunited in heaven. He was there at my wedding and on my honeymoon, giving me confidence that I had made the right decision and that my marriage will survive deployment. And He's been with me since the day I left my family, giving me strength to get through every day and sending the most subtle signals that He hears my prayers and is answering them.

I am so blessed to be alive, to be American, and to know the presence of my Heavenly Father.